I Still Need You
by Mitsuki Horenake
Summary: Elizabeta had just realized that she still has feelings for the ex-husband that is the object of her Yaoi affections.  Oh, this can't be good.


**That's just me. By the way, I decided to challenge myself with writing something that isn't GerIta or UsUk…or CanSey. There we go. I DO NOT OWN HETALIA, and there will be inaccuracies. I have warned you now. So yeah…enjoy~!**

**By the way, the girl named Erika is Liechtenstein.**

**/=+=/**

The divorce had hit her hard. It was everything that Elizabeta had wished would never happen. It was a long time ago, and she had been told that she was no longer married to Roderich. They were so much in love _(even though they had been married for some long)_, so being away from each other was hard the first year around. After that year, she finally moved on…albeit barely.

The 21st Century rolled around, and she was introduced to a man named Kiku Honda and a little thing called _'manga'_. She immediately got interested in them, especially something called _'Yaoi'_, and soon she was thinking about all of her male friends. It was the hottest thing ever.

And at the center of the dreams was none other than Roderich Edelstein.

It all began simply between him and Gilbert. Then it got a lot worse…and deeper. Before she knew it, she was pairing him with everyone: Vash, Ludwig, heck she even went with Ivan a couple of days. She then concluded that Austria x Prussia was the hottest one out there. She was the ex-wife; it doesn't hurt that much anymore, right?

**/~ [FLASHBACK] ~/**

"_Hey, Eliza! We're going to the ice cream store! You wanna come with us?"_

"_Sure thing, Alfred!"_

_She stood up from her seat and walked toward them, hoping that she was going to get some good points with America (helping her nation in the meantime). As she was walking toward them, she lowered her foot and realized that she was just at the edge of the stairs…and she was about to fall down a whole flight of stairs._

_But she didn't._

_An arm had reached out and grabbed her waist, holding her in midair. It pulled her back and balanced herself on the top step. Once she knew that she was safe, she turned around to find out who had saved her. It turned out to be none other than Roderich, letting her go with a straight look on his face. Elizabeta tried to open her mouth to say her thanks._

"_Hey, Roddy! You coming?"_

"_Yes…I'll be right there."_

_He let her go while still staring at her, before stepping back and walking away to join his friends. She found herself staring at his back, his shadow making him looking even more majestic._

**/~ [END FLASHBACK] ~/**

…right?

**/=+=/**

Valentine's Day was rolling around, meaning that she was going to go around making everyone become couples for her crazy fantasies. Her efforts focused solely on Germany and England, but they were so _tsundere_ that she decided to have a small break. She sat down in her table as she started sizing everyone down.

"Hey, Elizabeta."

"Hm?" She looked up. "Erika, hi. How is Vash?"

"He's doing OK…he's being extremely protective of me, since Valentine's Day is coming soon." She sat down next to her. "Do you have a Valentine?"

"Nah, I'm too busy trying to get everyone else their own dates." She answered. "Some of them are just so…hesitant, you know?"

"You seem to have so much fun doing this."

"It is fun~! Besides, sometimes people need a push in order to find their true feelings!" Elizabeta smiled. "I mean, Germany and Italy are such prime examples of that!"

"…oh, that is so true." Erika looked up. "What about Roderich and Gilbert? They seem so close to each other."

She froze at those words. Why?

"Yeah, they really do." Why did she feel pain from those words? "I say Gilbert will be the first one to say it."

"Yes. Roderich is too…quiet…reserved…to say something like that out loud."

**/~ [FLASHBACK] ~/**

_It was the first day of her marriage to Roderich. They have met only a few times before (they were children at the time, too!), so suddenly being married to him was shocking indeed. As she walked toward what she was told to be his house, she couldn't help but wonder how he had changed over the years they were away. As she approached the house, she couldn't help but hear piano keys stringing themselves together into what she had to believe was the best melody that she had ever heard._

_**Who's playing that…? **__She thought. __**Don't tell that's…**_

_As she walked through the open doorway, she allowed her ears to lead her toward the source. Before she knew it, she found herself in a large room with a piano and the back of the man playing it. She could only see a long indigo jacket and familiar brown hair. There was no way this could be…_

"_Um…are you Austria…my husband?"_

_The music stopped and he straightened himself out. She watched in shock as he stood up from his seat and turned his head to face her. It was something that she would see in a beautiful film: his turn shot sparkles, and there was some form of beauty on his elegant face. He had glasses on his face, startling her, but it was the familiar mole that caught her attention._

"_You are Hungary, my wife." He stated, his eyes still closed._

"…_yes, I am Hungary."_

_He slowly opened his eyes to look at her, and she gasped. How in the world did that little boy that she had seen from time to time suddenly get so…beautiful? Even with his beauty, it was that smile that won her over. She felt her heart flutter._

"_Time has done nothing on your beauty." He said, sounding somewhat shy._

"…_it did a lot on yours, Austria." She remarked. __**What a way to respond.**_

"_It's fine. If we're going to be married, I don't want formality." He stated. "Call me Roderich."_

"_Then…call me Elizabeta."_

_He nodded and smiled at her beauty, causing her to chuckle rub the back of her neck. Maybe this marriage wasn't going to be as bad as she thought._

**/~ [END FLASHBACK] ~/**

"Elizabeta, are you alright? You have been quiet this entire time."

"Hm? Oh, I'm fine. I was just remembering something."

She turned her head back around and saw Roderich reading a book and trying to push Gilbert away from him. They seemed so close at this angle; it seemed to hurt her just by looking at them. She turned her head and tried to think about another topic. England is going to need a little bit more of a push.

**/=+=/**

Valentine's Day was tomorrow, and she decided that she was going to decorate the meeting hall with all the hearts and love that she could offer it. So before anyone else could enter the room, she had just thrown as many streamers as she could over all the chandeliers and then scattered heart confetti all over the tables.

"You're having the time of your life."

She turned her head around and saw Roderich standing at the doorway, a book in his hand and a familiar stare on his face. She couldn't help but blush at the look on his face…maybe it's because she's used to blushing at bishounens _(hey, that's what Kiku calls them)_.

"It's Valentine's Day tomorrow. I just want it to be memorable to someone, you know?" She stated.

"Sometimes you work too hard on stuff like this." He sighed. "Have you ever considered just letting things work by themselves?"

"But sometimes people need a push to do something." Elizabeta chuckled. "Cause most people need a push to admit feelings, right?"

Roderich couldn't respond to that statement, instead staring at her for a few minutes before closing the book and walking out of the room. She sighed at his leaving image, finding herself remembering the day he had left her forever. Why did she remember it?

**/=+=/**

The holiday finally rolled around, and the whole room was abuzz with what they call "love". Elizabeta couldn't help but watch as Italy chased Germany around the room with that grin on his face before turning her head towards the windowsill. Sure enough, she saw England and America talking to each other, looking down. She cocked an eyebrow as England leaned forward and hugged America with a light blush on his face, and then smiled.

_One couple down._

She turned her head around to see more love and saw that Gilbert and Roderich were talking to each other, Gilbert's arm around Roderich. She couldn't help but inhale a tight breath before ignoring it and looking away. She thought she liked them together. What happened?

**/=+=/**

"What's wrong, Elizabeta? You look down."

"I'm fine."

She sighed as she heard Erika sit down next to her. Earlier, the girl had just gotten her feelings confirmed by her older brother and now they were a couple. Elizabeta would've been praising their love all while cursing out the fact that Switzerland is no longer gay if it hadn't been for one thing…

"Did you get someone to confess love for you?"

"No…I'm too busy trying to see if any other couples come out." She looked around. Still, nothing.

"Maybe you shouldn't be thinking about them this year." Erika stated. "Maybe you should be looking for someone who loves you?"

"It's fine, Erika. I already have my chance at love; other people need to have that chance." She answered.

"Just because you had a chance at love doesn't mean that you should give up on another chance." Erika blinked. "I thought you were the type of person who would give that type of advice to the others."

"Erika…do you know anything about me?"

She did. All Elizabeta was thinking about at that time was her fangirl fantasies. In other words, exploiting the other countries for all the lemony goodness was all she wanted to do. Her eyes started scanning over Roderich, and a blush went over her face. Unfortunately, Erika noticed it.

"Are you still thinking about Roderich?"

"Ah-! I…" She rubbed her face. "I was just…thinking about my next project with Kiku, that's all…"

"Don't lie to me, Elizabeta. I know the look of a woman in love." Erika smiled. "I have the look, too."

"Erika-"

"You're the strangest hypocrite that I have ever met." She laughed. "You love Roderich. You still love Roderich. Who knows? He might love you back."

She obviously thought that it was the most hopeless thing that she could believe in, but that thought alone _(stated by someone else)_ made a light blush cross her face. Could that one random thought actually be _**true?**_ It was fairly recently that they had to be separated, so it wasn't that far off.

"You still love him, Elizabeta."

"…I guess I do…" She smiled. "Should I tell him?"

"Well, tonight does seem to be a good night for that." Erika smiled. "You should tell him during the Valentine Dinner."

"We have a Valentine Dinner?" People agreed to that?

"Of course." She smiled. "I decided that I was going to run it, with Kiku. You're going to come, right?"

"…of course."

Part of her wanted to come in the thought that she was going to see more of her Yaoi desires bloom in the night. But that small hope that she was holding onto...the thought that Roderich might still love her after all these years…was the only thing that won out in her mind. She was going to come.

**/=+=/**

Before she came into the Dinner, she found the best looking white dress that she could find and then slipped into her heels. She hadn't freaked out about her appearance so much since she had been meeting Roderich for the first time after they were married. As she walked out of her hotel room, she slipped on a simple bracelet while she watched the process in the mirror.

_This bracelet…wasn't this the one that Roderich gave me during our 5__th__ anniversary?_ She smiled. _I'm so glad that I kept this._

She skipped out of her room with a smile on her face and walked toward the Dinner hall. During her walk, she couldn't help but wonder so many things: would Roderich actually show up? What would she say to him? Could she bring him alone somewhere where she can say her feelings in peace? Would he agree that it was mutual? What would she do if he said yes?

Geez, no wonder people have so many issues trying to confess feelings.

Before she knew it, she noticed that she had finally arrived back in the meeting hall to meet up with the party. As she walked toward the entrance, she found two images hiding behind a few trees. One of them was Gilbert, and the other one was…wearing…Roderich's…coat.

_It's Roderich and Gilbert._ She blinked. _What's going on?_

She hid behind the wall as she watched them talk privately with each other about something she couldn't hear. Every few minutes she could see Gilbert placing his hands on Roderich's shoulders, making a chill go down her back. _**What was going on?**_

Gilbert leaned forward to whisper something in his face, making Roderich shiver in his fingertips. Elizabeta blinked in confusion as they parted and continued to talk to each other about something. The smile that erupted from Gilbert's face seemed so different from the usual grin he had…

And then he was kissing him.

**/=+=/**

Her mind had shut down the minute she had seen that, and when she was allowed to think again she found her legs pounding in pain and her lungs desperate to get air. She had run away from the meeting hall and was now in what looked like to be the nearby bridge leading to the city.

_God, why did I do this…?_

Thoughts started flying through her mind: of when she first met him, when she was married to him, the years of marriage between them, the divorce that had broken them apart, and the long years afterward. Tears flew down her cheeks as she struggled to straighten herself.

_Why did I think that he still loved me…?_

Well, at least her Yaoi dreams can be realized…Roderich was the center of the majority of them, right? Now that the both of them were an official couple, her material can now actually _**work**_. That was what she wanted, right…to push two people in love into a relationship?

_The divorce broke everything…even his love for me…_

His smile…all she could remember was his smile. It held everything that she could learn from him: shyness, hiding musical talent, willing to share it only with her…everything she knew about him. Before she knew it, she had collapsed to her knees and began sobbing openly.

"_Roderich…it's been so long since we have spoken like this…"_ She muttered her words through sobs to the air. _"I know that it had been so long since we have been married, but I wanted to tell you something. I…I never forgot you. I wanted to be with you after we left…I still wanted to be with you…Roderich…"_

"_**I love you…"**_

She froze. Did her voice suddenly turn into a guy's? Before she knew it, she realized that someone was with her. She stood up and saw that it was a man wearing a frilly silk shirt and dress pants, holding up a rose and just realizing that she had been there. And guess who it was?

"…_Roderich?"_

"Are you not well?" He walked forward and helped her to her feet. "You look sick."

"…I'm fine." She stared at him. "I thought you were with Gilbert."

"That prick? I was trying to find him this entire time. He just stole my jacket and ran away with it." Roderich rubbed his temple. "At least I know that he's back at the meeting hall…"

"What are you doing here, anyway? I figured you would be at the Dinner…"

"I, uh…I was trying to figure out something…" He had a familiar blush on his face. "I decided that I had to be away from the building to figure it out, but…"

"But…?"

He cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his head and the rose in his hand. After he accidentally pricked himself with a thorn _(about five times)_, he sighed and decided that he was going to say his words to her. She was there now. He had no other chance.

"Elizabeta…these years I was away from you…without our marriage…I found myself lost." He stammered. "You seemed so…happy, without me after the war…I thought that you had moved on from what we had. I wouldn't blame you for that, but…"

He lifted his twitching hands and held hers.

"I still think about you every day. I want nothing more than to go back to those days where we lived together and were happy." He tried to smile through his embarrassment. "This whole day, I was wondering how I could say this to you but…this is the only way I can say it."

He took a deep breath.

"I…I still love you, Elizabeta. I love you, Hungary."

She was shaking from that confession, tears pouring out of her eyes. Before he knew it, she had thrown herself on him to stain his silk shirt with her tears. He hesitated, but then held her, remembering just how he held her during their marriage.

"…_I still love you too, Roderich."_ She said, trying to keep her voice together. _"Are you going to stay with me this time?"_

"_I will stay with you, Elizabeta…not as the Republic of Austria, but as Roderich Edelstein."_ He smiled. _"From here to forever."_

By the way, the guy that Gilbert was with was…what was his name again? Greenland? Mexico? Oh yeah, Canada. That guy. While we're on that subject, they were able to hook up after Valentine's Day.

**/=+=/**

**Wow, writing about another pairing is harder than I thought. Whatever. Read and review~!**


End file.
